I wish I didn't enjoy him as much, it would be so much simpler simply to let go then. There are times when I feel my ex lover is in my life more than he has to be. He seems to hoover around with intent, and is the like a Wimbledon ball boy - still all set to catch. I get messages from him that talks about his father, but I often feel that he wants to say more in those messages. The messages are truly checking out" Hi, how are you today?" not papa is feeling much better today. It is an odd feeling and our relationship has actually ended up being somewhat tinged with a melancholy unhappiness.
Whenever I hear his name I stop to listen what it is about. I commonly feel like stating, or sending him a message stating; "Well done, I am proud of you". It never ever comes to that as I think it would just open the flood gates to my heart. I still have the feeling that he is this little boy lost who requires saving, and the only person who can do that is me. It is tough to stop myself sometimes, and I wonder how we got so lost.
Seeing him is really hard. The important things is I do have to see him from time to time, and the feelings hang like an electric charge in between us. I feel like I might touch the air around him, and it would spark. Keeping away and making reasons only makes it even worse, he seems to hoover even more carefully and question exactly what is wrong. He does not wish to interfere in my marital relationship and I actually value this side of him. Wanting to hurt other individuals has actually never been his remit and I question that it will certainly change.
Recently, he took me by surprise. I understand that my daughter is the world to him, and she loves him back just as much. He announced that he had actually just purchased a house for her in London, and stayed up a trust fund so she would always be all right. He asked me not to tell my hubby, which is what surprised me. He is constantly honest and you can see through him. Why did he not want him to understand? It is a personal thing he stated, and would not be drawn on it. Now, I feel that I have actually treated this sweet man severely and can't stop thinking about him. If you might just have two life times ... for more stories see http://adultsdatingsites.com/why-london-has-the-best-dating-sites-in-the-world/
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